How To Tell
If You're Addicted
To The Internet

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 4 or higher."

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like  you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

 

You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. ...And you succeed.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period  when  using a word  processor.com

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You start introducing yourself as sdrury3472@blueyonder.co.uk

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

Your cat has its own home page.

You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again and again and again.

You don't know what sex three of your closest friends  are because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

You tell the cab driver you live at
  http://sdrury3472.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

And you start to say can I look at your HARD DRIVE and what's the FLOPPY like is your ROM WORKING or you need an ISDN line